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semester one

semester one final review is over. in general, i guessed i improved, since i mark improvement levels in corresponding levels of stress and panic and that didn’t materialize this time until the very last night. For the millionth time, i didn’t do it at the last minute, been working non-stop on it for like a zillion years. problem was, (and still is), bad time management, prioritizing , and wasting hours to think things through always makes me unable to finish properly in time. Anyway, i guess Rome wasn’t built in a day, I’m working towards a goal of stress-free semesters…whahahahaha

have something to say about different studios, but maybe not now..

Stayin close to the architecture building means you can do things like :

4:40am – finished detail drawings, walked 2 minutes to building with Flora and printed immediately because no one else will be there

5:23am- pinned up the details with the rest of my work, and then realise i have no model and not enough materials to make 1.

6:10am – scavenge the year 1 studios (they have the most stuff) and make off with necessary amounts of corrugated board

6:15am – since i’m there, might as well print out my site plan?

6:45am -walk2 minutes back and start making model. Flora helped by cutting alot of squares and then falling asleep.

9:45am – finish model (merely conceptual, but, whatever)

10:00am – presentation starts!

11:15am – realise it’s not going to be my turn till 2:45-ish

11:30am – tunggu apa? balik tidur dulu laaaaaaaaa

Conclusion: Convenience destroys discipline. If you want to nurture discipline, ensure nothing is ever easy for you. hahah

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Break

Supposed to be drawing detail sections, but took a break anyway and read the program brochure emailed to me by the Belgium people, and i discovered this link:

http://www.mabeco.be/losthighway/

Past year’s student works of the university that i’ll be going to in Ghent, Belgium ( I fly from Prestwick to Brussels on feb13th)

I’m not sure, but apparently i’m supposed to choose between designing a Qatar Embassy in Brussels, or an international airport within a “coherent spatial proposition”. I’m not sure because it’s confusing.. Both the briefs have a word at the end of their title saying “International” (i’ll be in the international studio, the one conducted in english), but the Embassy brief has an extra “international” word somewhere there.. but previous exchange students did the airport project. Bah… Anyway, both the briefs are littered liberally with mind-dizzying architectural theory jargon.. for example:

The aim is to study a written work, a narrative, or rhetorical figure and to fragment it – not only into what it might represent or what its meaning is (metaphorical, ironical, …), but also into how it is constructed and how it relates to its environment. Reading of the text becomes a reflection of the process of writing. Then, we will try to understand the act of writing as the process of transformation of objects into operative diagrams, psychical note’s, whereby these icons don’t have to bear on figurative resemblance with that what has to be saved for the future, formerly what had to be represented. Inscriptions, characters, text fragments, being freed of fixed images can (as paradoxical as it may sound) become the carrier space of a new kind of architecture. Concentrate on the architecture of writing for a change. Defamiliarise the text. Make it strange. Turn words inside out. Dissect them.

reading the brief is making me more cross-eyed then studying stupid steel floor decking sections are!!

Anyhow, it will be a change from the superbly technical program here at strathclyde. a welcome change, or not? Who cares, as long as i get to see continental Europe…… =D Just joking, i’m not that superficial, i swear…

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3 days

Every time i read an architecture book, i feel so motivated and inspired.. especially if it’s a good book…

Every time i look at the amount of work i have, i feel so depressed and uninspired.. especially if it’s the end of semester!!

Bah.

I’ve finished my coffee beans and my hot chocolate (a typical european-sized jar, which means not very big if you compare it to the giant milo tins style, in 10 days!!!! like wtf x 1000000) due to my neslo addiction. Only, it’s not an addiction, it’s like an integral part of my diet…that and kitkats. KitKats’ teh shit! Every 2 days i take a trip down to Co-Op on George Street to refill my kitkat stash because I’m too lazy to walk all the way to FarmFoods down on Sauchiehall Street though it’s cheaper there.

I’m refraining from posting superbly emo work-related posts because i don’t want to feel stupid 5 months later when i look back…hahaha…plus, I’m so much calmer this semester around~ no more 3am loneliness-induced paranoia attacks..

3 days to print!! It’s actually 5 days to presentation, but i need to finish all work in 3 days and print and spend the last 2 days on model… after last semester’s model disaster…

till then

edit: since i belong to the 04/07 group i suppose it’s partly my responsibility to notify people that the old class blog has been (sort of) revived. I refuse to be overly involved about it until everyone proves they really want to keep it up :p link is here

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#12 : Lock yourself out of your room – check

#55 : Set off the fire alarm – check

#18: Bring back public property for living room decoration- check

#63: Display your alcohol bottle collection by the window – check

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Now they’ve gone and made a film.

www.architorturefilm.com

My mom should watch that.

While everyone’s enjoying their holidays, i’m still hard at work at my portfolio – and i’ve explained at least 10 times- it’s because i’ve lost most of my studio 2 work when i got so pissed at my work a year ago and upon reaching home i immediately dumped it into the darkest depths of my storeroom and forgot about it thereafter. Last month, i went to dig it out under the mountain of junk and crap and discovered that both models are mangled beyond recognition.

its not that i’m too free its not that i have too much money its not that i’m kiasu its not that i have nothing to do its because i DON’T have any work to show!!!

and yes i did not take much photos because as i said i was incredibly sick of my work. Frankly if you ask me i would reply yes, i am actually pleased that my models are mangled so i’ll have to redo them, but the definitive point is – it’s gone. Irrespective of my wishes and intentions, i have to redo it.

That’s why i’m taking so long, and as a further explanation to all the people who have not asked the question ( i know you will and am preparing for that eventuality.) A second reason is i have applied to a few UK unis, and none of them will accept me without seeing a portfolio. As Strathclyde is the only university with guaranteed entry to 3rd year (after seeing the portfolio) and the rest will only say they’ll look at your portfolio, i somehow have to produce a rather acceptable portfolio (i.e- well made) within an impossible amount of time. Which results in post-semester stress because i don’t have the 3 months i’d rather have to do it…. but like, 2 weeks… and my energy is all spent so there’s no way in hell i can put in semester-type hours………..

There you see, my portfolio problem explained succintly. Now people should stop asking me questions. By the way, it was rather late in coming (like 3 years too late), but now i do have a certain quality control and expectations to my own work. By that i mean I’ve finally realised that other people other then my lecturers are going to see it :p hehe.. and my (future) architect’s ego is kicking in. I am painfully aware of the standard of quality and the many flaws in my work, but i refuse for it to be flawed further than it absolutely has to be…. (if not i will be bothering people with “what if” questions and i’m sure nobody wants that, least of all me..)

and i have lots to learn lah, how to learn if i don’t try? blah…..

I’m starting to have a mantra for when lonely hours set in and the stress kicks in. It goes something like :nostressnostressnostressnostressnostressnostressnostress DON’T be stress and then i go off to surf the net for the rest of the night and go to sleep in the morning. No wonder i’m so slow.

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Edit:

I’m redoing my panel.

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Curse

I’ve printed my competition panel earlier, and i can honestly say i don’t even want to present it and compete. I’m so unsatisfied – that dumb piece of glossy photo paper does not do justice to all the effort i feel that i’ve put in but of course did not work smart enough. I feel that it’s all been for nothing.  four studios, four final projects and nothing seems to be changing. People present their work on the final day and feel ectastic; i present my work and want to die. I’ve gotten the same comments four studios running; that i have potential BUT- , that my scheme could have been very interesting BUT- that this spatial arrangement is potentially interesting and that space are dynamic BUT- , that you’ve got that this may be this and that may be that BUT-  but there’s always a but. But you couldn’t finish it, but you shot yourself int the foot, but it was sadly not realized, but you have finishing and commitment issues – how could i praise you?

this comment during my final crit almost half a month probably accurately summarizes up my 3 diploma years:
“Judging from the work you’ve done, you’re obviously not lazy, and the scheme is too well-thought to be last minute work…. but its so incomplete!!”

 Needless to say that was my shortest crit ever.

And then, somehow i dont know how, i got selected for the competition even though i’ve almost accepted my failing as a certainty – and that somehow makes it worse.  It might be a fluke or it might not, but getting picked obviously meant expectations by the lecturers; and of course – judging from the way this post has been heading – it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that yet again i blew off my own foot and mind you, it is not easy having your mind adjusted to Rest & Relax mode and suddenly having to spend 10 miore sleeples snights.

I don’t know if it was the late tutorial (me and nick did not get a proper tutorial until monday – 6 days left, and he finished only minutes before me) – or it was because previously my building was so far from being resolved (i still don’t have elevation cad drawings and detail section) that an additional 8 days weren’t eenough; i don’t know if its i’m just a wannabe or a pretender; i don’t knnow if i have impossible expectations of myself or i have just too good an opinion of myself; i don ‘t know if that i was greedy and as usual overextended (i use that term every semester); i don’t know if i am just plain stupid in the way i achieve things; i don’t know alot of things – but i know this feeling. this feeling of seeing your work slowly materializing from the plotter and knowing that every tutor i had describes as ‘happiness’ or ‘euphoria’  but i feel only like sighing and plodding back to cry and whine.

For other people, the satisfaction of seeing your work appear usually makes up for the sleepness nighs. For me, needless to say i have never saw the need to have a post-crit celebration.

I hate this curse.

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