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Archive for December, 2006

Holidays

You know you have finally exorcised the ghosts of studies when you can’t (or don’t) fall asleep before 6 and you can’t (or won’t) wake up before 3. And most glaring of all: coming home at 2am and thinking “what? it’s only 2?”

 Semester 6 starts in 16 days and there are many grown up things to think about then, but right now…

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Earthquakes

Gee whiz earthquake in Taiwan. I caught The Star’s headline this morning with bleary eyes because i haven’t woke up officially yet; i just came down to get a drink (before going back to sleep) My first reaction was of course about the internet communications being disrupted – but right behind it – I heard that Yi Kang, Felix, Jian, Wei Xiang, Kitty etc gang are all in Taiwan enjoying their year-end holidays, so i hope they’re safe…………if not no more futsal. hehe. I think they are, i don’t think something as puny as a 7.1 earthquake can kill them.

Also, somehow for a reason i can’t comment on my own posts, and i’m too lazy to figure it out. So, to Sky.live – eh. then i’ll go and overclock my computer. haha.

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Early Morning

The orange-hued light of the street lamps bounced and made eerie reflections on my windshield as i sped home at 4 in the morning; car bouncing and skidding minutely on the ground wet and slippery with rain. A weird mix of huge proportions – a bottle of chardonnay, a bottle of Ballantine’s and some beer fought for a comfy place in my liver; fighting and conflicting, creating some interesting spinning movements in my head and a fantastic giddying display of visual effects through my eyes. The problem with fooling around with different types is that a little of each is enough to cause many problems.

For all my alcohol-impaired circuits,i barely gave the minimum concentration on the empty deserted highways while my mind wandered and roamed far and wide. For, i have things to think about -Vern Li : this is your post.

Well whaddaya know? Life did go on- some kind of life- and i have to say we have both drifted far and wide – in spirit if not in person – from that fateful day and where we stand now; it seems almost too probable to bump into you in a middle of a busy intersection and all too likely too caught up in the rushing mass of humanity to notice and recognize each other.

Many things have happened and i know i am painted black for it – i could hardly argue, though i’d be the first to plead mitigating circumstances and point out things are skewed somewhat in your favor. Change a name; change a timeline; change a detail, and our story is not so different from the million and one floating about; no small number of it to your knowledge. All’s fair in love and war, so it goes; Maybe war paints no heroes and villains; but historians and the people of the ages definitely do.

For all our differences we have managed to remain relatively close; which is a storm brewing on good days and a whirling tornado on bad days. People have remarked how rare that is (remaining close) and i have to admit that such honesty and faith is something the jaded and cynical me appreciate about you. I know a number of times i have let you down and have been downright disappointing; and a number of times i have made promises but they flitted away like ashes in the wind. Even this post has been delayed for over a month. My tardiness and procrastination has doubtless put heavy tension and strain into the flailing relations between you and me, not to mention undue stress and i guess we are slipping further and further apart.

The car clock read 4:47 as i came to a stop. I breathed the clear and crisp air of the pre-dawn morning while my brain rolled around the floor and tried to sit up straight. Picking my way through puddles on the ground,i made the kind of promise i have never broken – the kind to myself. For i am not forgetful; i remember who was there during the troubled nights; the sleepless days. The promise i made, i keep secret- it will be clear to you in the near future. And maybe, just maybe, one day we may bump into each other at a busy intersection, and we’ll stop to say hi.

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Beefing Up

Today, i feel like a geek. To face the perils of Studio 4 and beyond, i went and armed myself with a whole new arsenal of hardware. Among others, my slaves now include a

Samsung 19″ LCD monitor – No more Less mad scrolling!

Some chun AMD processor – Now i can chew on Photoshop and 3dsmax for breakfast. Together.

Huge ass casing with lots of fans and empty space – Sustainable architecture – passive cooling strategies put to good use.

160GB Sata2 Hard drive w/ + old 80gb IDE harddrive – Plenty of Room to Roam

Some mid-range Graphics Card 7300GT+ – Mid-range only, i know, but compared to my already obsolete Riva TNT2…8mb…. go on, laugh…

Keyboard WITH wristpads – no more sore wrists from the sharp edges.

Edifier M3300 Speakers – Music to my ears

And of course, the two most expensive pieces of hardware i have ever owned,  A High Performance 2GB Corsair DDR2 Twin2X2048 800 Matched Memory Pair !!! Just saying the name exhausts my mental capabilities. These two sticks cost a quarter of the entire cost of the freaking machine.

Now, about my procrastination………………….

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Dilbert owns

I have been following Scott Adams’s heavy thoughts on the universe, free will (or the lack of it) and just about everything mainly because the heavier posts are all peppered with insanely funny posts between them. I have to say HE has been very inspirational and motivational to my own thoughts. Look for some of his better posts. I particularly remember one with a title of “something something over my head something”. 

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/10/in_over_my_head.html 

Here’s a link also courtesy of his blog for a read that provides interesting discussion.

http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=8453850

By the way, his cartoons are among the funniest ever.

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I can’t run away.

The dingy omnipresent smoke of the pool parlour permeates my hair, my shirt and my jeans and irritates my eyes while i stare into space; the blurry indistinct shapes that are my friends barely registers.

Smoke from Ivan’s half-finished cigarette wafted from the ashtray across the table and into my (mostly) tar-free lungs. The hip-hop tunes blaring from the speakers and the escalating shouts of the beginnings of an quarrel from the next table are muted to an indiscernible buzz.

I can hear someone talking to me, but my mind is locked in a memory of another time and another place far away. The flickering lights of the cheap gaudy christmas tree and half-hearted decorations seem to be out of place here.

I dream of the impossible.

I wish for the improbable.

Poignant, poignant Christmas.

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What do you see?

It’s kinda sad how there’s only one shot at life isn’t it? Not to mention that one, pitiful, pathetic shot can be ended any time by having a car run you down or you being dumped into a cement mixer. While it is mixing cement. So be careful when crossing the road and take care not to go near cement mixers while it is mixing any kind of stuff.

Anyways, i like discussing movies i watched with the more intelligent moviegoers around. That is not to say i think i’m intelligent (quite the contrary if my grades are anything to go by) but i’m kinda sick of hearing  “woo i liek jus now hte movie veri much cos the car blow up bang boom bamm alot loud noise i like loud noise yea”. Also along the same vein i tend to avoid the more flashy, glittered but not glued, showy mega blockbusters (and mega flops) and gravitate towards lonely cinema halls showing (sometimes) very interesting films so provided by GSC’s international screens. Of course i wouldn’t mind watching DOA again. and again and again. hehe.

Reviewers do what they do because they are getting paid for it (i hope), but i try not to watch a movie with a critical eye. As far as i’m concerned, every movie is going to have its flaws, so for my continued enjoyment and entertainment i might as well gloss them over with my mind’s eye and try to see it as the director visualised it, of course unless the movie is SO BAD i can’t even do that (coughmiamivicecough).

Which brings me to the entire point of this post: i watched Infernal Affairs 3 (again) last night and though i want to wax lyrical about the trilogy as a really good movie, i just said i don’t like to do so.

But certain issues are damn interesting. Over the three films we see most of the principal characters become total nutcases in their own way, and that’s just an indicator of how morality and conscience (or lack of) can mess with your circuits and do you in. If you ask me i think being so deep undercover just screws your sanity up pretty well. Though Sun Tzu has made sure spies will remain around for a looooong time.

Finally. Almost all of the characters has had  prime motivation and drive for acting the way they did, and therefore each had turned out differently. Some turned out spectacularly; some averaged out and some ended up nothing but tombstones on a fancy graveyard with oodles of love, respect, admiration, but still nothing more then ashes and corpses. Brains, sacrifice and bravery is the order of the day. Quoting Chen Daoming in the 3rd film – “It has always been events that changed people, but these people, these people had changed certain events”. Which leaves me wondering, if it has been me, what would have happened? Would i have had the courage and guts to do what needed to be done, and not what i wanted to do? Sacrifice is easy to spell but hard to do – would i be up to the task? When the time comes, would i be brave enough?

Trust me to turn watching a movie into questions regarding my own insecurities. kekeke.

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