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Archive for August, 2006

Addendum

So yeah, it’s only been like a couple of hours since the post, and i really should be doing some work, but what the hell.

Jay was telling me about tonight’s basketball games which i couldn’t make it to. He was annoyed about stuff.. seems that he can’t get used to playing with noobs like us. hee. Though he does make sense. Well.. in a game where there are so many rules and regulations and fine details, having no referee can complicate things somewhat. Heck i don’t even remember half the tinier rules, no matter how many times i was told. hmm.. damn i want to play.

Anyway. ugh i can’t juggle all my stuff together. Its so freaking hard. Compromising and equal treatments works as well as kicking someone in the nuts helps in alleviating someone’s backache. Urgh…… i need more time, better organizing skills and better time management. and more motivation. There were three magic words that kept me going for most of the past semester (though the end result was pretty much bullshit), but they’ve lost their inspirational and motivational effect… though logically its me who’ve changed, not them… oh the words are “whatever it takes”

ok back to work

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Here we go again

My brain is at it again. It is individualistic and seems like a separate entity from the rest of me. Sometimes thoughts are just bursting in my head, everything seems there, seems right, and i feel that i can do anything; i can speed read like a fucking shinkansen, i can suddenly write, talk and think with extreme clarity and vision, and i can do .. whatever. Sometimes. Other times, i feel like i’m walking around with a big chunk of granite in my head; i can’t focus i can’t concentrate and i can’t think to save my life. Words and images do not magically appear; in fact, nothign appears at all -everywhere around me is just goddamfuckingdarkness.

i’m so dead

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One fine day 8 years ago, my dad bought me to visit our house (the one i’m staying in now) which was currently undergoing renovations. He was pretty pleased with the progress and the changes from the prior house. One of his favourites was the kitchen door.

Him: See this door? It used to be the front door of the previous house! I had it moved here. It auto-locks, see; just close it and it locks itself. It’ll be safer for us.

Small me: what if some one gets trapped inside here?

Him: nah we just gotta be careful then it should be okay

Actually, right after he said that we went inside to look at the new kitchen and the door promptly closed and locked on us. My dad knocked on it and an indonesian worker opened it.

Moving along..

So yesterday afternoon i was feeling pretty restless and hungry after making a few ineffective scrawls on the nightmarish floor plans. I went down to make myself a snack and a drink. While scruntinizing the “Easy-to-follow-Cooking Instructions” label on some newfangled cup instant food thing, there was a gust of wind, and the door slammed shut. And i was stuck inside.

Anyway, at that point in time my sister was upstairs in her room. So you’re thinking; ceh wtf, anticlimax la, just get her to open the door and end of story. Wrong, cause a storm was brewing and thunder was booming and trees were shaking and generally making a helluva noise. Unfazed, i banged on the door with my hands, an empty bottle, even the freaking chopping board and shouted myself hoarse but no one heard me. She was probably sleeping or something.

Just then, i was starting to feel a little panicky. The key to the back door was conveniently put in the kitchen, so actually all i had to do was to unlock it, let myself out and walk to my front door and ring the doorbell. All fine and dandy, except i was barefoot, shirtless, and not about to walk a distance (there are no side streets or back alleys in my neighbourhood so i had to walk along the main road which probably has 15 cars zooming along at any given time) in my shorts..

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Tweaks

Spent 2 hours doing minor tweaks and adjustments to this blog instead of doing Working Drawing as i should be……….. better appreciate it! zzz

See if you notice it.. it’s mostly on the sidebar to your left <—- There’s a new section where i put in some of the posts from an older blog. Only 3. Go read and spam on comment! More sections to come in the future as i think of them…

Next to go is the bloody paddy fields.. aha.. shall replace the banner when i have the time.

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Nutritionist’s Nightmare

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Breakfast at Bukit Tinggi –  one of these a day, keeps the doctor coming back everyday. (recommended if doctor is hot woman)

Spent past 24 hours with my back hunched over the Table of Death (my table). I keep on making mistakes, wtf. 

Red FM’s retro hour rocks my socks!

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Drunk

Everything seems fucking unreal to me now. It’s hard to describe; i’m in a dreamlike trance. Hours and days seep by, and i am caught in the currents; going where it brings me. I am lost, floating around in limbo, in the void between consciousness and being dead. Things that matter don’t; things that don’t matter don’t exist. Instead, things that shouldn’t be allowed is screwing up my life. There is only one color in this world, a bloody dull shade of grey. Probably because denial is freaking blocking all my vision.

No i am not smoking some psychoactive shit. Though stoned seems to be a appropriate adjective.. Then again, i might just be hopped up on something else. Intoxicated on something bloody unreal.

Ugh get me out of this surrealistic world!

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Tick Tock

I hear bad news everyday, on the news, in the papers, through friends, and crap. Accidents, robberies, rapes, mishaps.

I’ve hid so many things from many people, lied through the skin of my teeth on many occasions, done a whole lot of shit i’m not proud of and probably will never see the light of the day on my blog, or from my mouth.

All this weighs on my conscience and when i think about them i am filled with guilt.

I’m not a religious person, and while i put Buddhism as the teachings i’m most comfortable with (yes i know it is not a religion per se bla bla bla) i do believe in stuff like karma.

And of course the timeless phrase what comes around goes around.

When the freaking hell is it going to be my turn?? :(

I do hope i’m thinking too much.. zzz

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